Apologizing is one of the hardest things we have to do. Whether it be for small offenses or life-altering mistakes, we all know how hard it is to apologize when we have done something wrong. Sometimes, it’s because we have a hard time admitting that we’ve done something wrong. Other times, we’re afraid that our apology won’t be accepted and the relationship will be stranded. Many of us have experienced the devastation of apologizing, only for that apology to fall on deaf ears and be ignored, even though you apologized the best way you know how. It makes us ask the question: what is the best to apologize to someone I’ve offended?

​In the book The Five Apology Languages, authors Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas help their readers understand the nature of apologies and forgiveness by breaking down what they call the “five languages of apology”. In a similar way that Gary Chapman explains the five languages of love in his best-selling book series, this author duo brings awareness to the fact that there are several different ways that someone apologizes. These five apology languages are expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, planned change, and requesting forgiveness. Through an engaging and easy-to-understand presentation, Chapman and Thomas help us see that understanding your apology languages as well as the apology languages of your loved ones will change the dynamic of practically every relationship in your life. Using many biblical principles, his exploration of apology and forgiveness is revolutionary and timely. Including a quiz to help you determine your apology languages as well as tools to help you determine your loved ones’ languages, this is a tool that everyone young and old needs to have at their disposal.

My only criticism of the book is the contents of chapter 11, in which the authors encourage the idea of self-forgiveness. I strongly disagree with this idea. This is because I believe that when a Christian is unable to forgive themselves, they are basically saying that they messed up so bad that they can’t accept Christ’s forgiveness. That is a lie that Satan desperately wants us to believe. Instead of addressing apologies to yourself, you need to address them to God and then fully believe that He has forgiven you. While spending a whole chapter talking about apologizing to yourself, they spend hardly any time discussing apologizing to God when we’ve sinned against Him. I understand that they presented this idea from the perspective of counselors, but to me, this idea is not grounded in good theology.

Aside from my disagreements about self-forgiveness, I still think this is a great book and would recommend it to practically anyone. Get your copy today!

* I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

If you want to read my review of Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages (Singles Edition), click here

To read reviews of some other book on the topic of forgiveness, click here

​“Trust” can be a scary word. It means that you are willing to give up some control of your life to follow the lead of someone else. This is often hard for us to do, because many of us have experienced betrayal when we trusted the wrong person. Many of us bring those experiences into our relationships with others, including God. While we know in our heads that God is not like any of the people who have betrayed us, our hearts cannot help but remember the hurts of betrayal from the past. This means that we shut God out and try to use our own methods for running our lives. It makes us ask the question: “How can I learn to trust God?”

​In her Bible study Trustworthy, Lysa Terkeurst uses the stories in 1 and 2 Kings to help us see that God is trustworthy, as well as what can happen when we don’t learn to trust him. Through 6 weeks of weekly videos on DVD filmed on location in Israel and 5 days of personal reading and reflection in the study book, Lysa guides participants to understand the sometimes confusing narrative of Israel’s history during the divided kingdom and well as helping them understand how a lack of obedience and trust in God is what led to many of the problems these kings faced. From their example, we can learn how avoiding trusting in God can have devastating consequences so that we can make the choice to avoid their mistakes. The book, full of illustrative graphics, places to write, and a leader’s guide, and the DVD, full of beautiful visuals to illustrate these truths, are great resources if you are looking for your next group Bible study. Get your copy today!